<div class="se-component se-image se-l-default" style="font-size:16px;margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanumgothic', nanumgothic, sans-serif, Meiryo;vertical-align:baseline;color:#666666;"> <div class="se-component-content se-component-content-fit" style="margin:0px auto;padding:0px 40px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;max-width:100%;"> <div class="se-section se-section-image se-l-default se-section-align-center" style="margin:0px auto;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;"> <div class="se-module se-module-image" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;"> <a class="se-module-image-link __se_image_link __se_link" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;display:block;"><img src="" alt="" class="se-image-resource egjs-visible" style="border:0px;margin:0px;padding:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;display:block;width:693px;"></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="se-component se-text se-l-default" style="font-size:16px;margin:20px 0px 0px;padding:0px;border:0px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanumgothic', nanumgothic, sans-serif, Meiryo;vertical-align:baseline;color:#666666;"> <div class="se-component-content" style="margin:0px auto;padding:0px 40px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;max-width:100%;"> <div class="se-section se-section-text se-l-default" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;"> <div class="se-module se-module-text" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;"> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">친한 동생이 말했습니다. </span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#ff0010;"><b style="background-color:inherit;font-family:inherit;">“남자친구가 잠수탔는데 어떻게 하면 좋을까요?” </b></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">저는 말했습니다. “남자친구가 </span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#ff0010;"><b style="background-color:inherit;font-family:inherit;">왜</b></span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"> 잠수탔는지 아니?”</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">동생은 고개를 내저었습니다. 당연합니다. 왜 잠수탔는지 알면 그 지경까지 두지 않았을 겁니다. 반대로 모르니까 남자친구가 잠수탔을 겁니다. 관계는 항상 ‘쌍방’이기 때문입니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">한 가지 확실한 점은 남자친구가 </span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"><b style="background-color:inherit;font-family:inherit;">잠수 탄 이유를 모르면 결국 같은 일이 반복</b></span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">된다는 겁니다. 남자친구를 여자로 바꿔도 똑같습니다. 이는 이치입니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">-</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">이번 글은 너무나 당연한 얘기입니다. 하지만 당연한 걸 모르는 사람이 많아 글을 써봅니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">누군가가 잠수를 탔다면 이유가 있을 겁니다. “그냥”이라고 말할 순 있습니다. 다만 남자친구나 여자친구가 될 정도라면 그만한 이유가 있었을 겁니다. 즉 괜찮은 사람이라는 얘기입니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">문제는 그런 괜찮은 사람이 잠수를 탔다는 점입니다. 그 혹은 그녀는 왜 그래야만 했을까요?</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">답은 간단합니다. </span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"><b style="background-color:inherit;font-family:inherit;">‘그래야만 했기 때문’</b></span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">입니다. 잠수를 타야 괜찮을 수 있다는 말입니다. 따라서 무엇이 그/그녀를 잠수타게 했는지 아는 게 핵심입니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">-</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">하지만 이것도 사실 간단합니다. 그/그녀가 누구에게서 잠수를 탔는지 명확하기 때문입니다. 바로</span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#ff0010;"><b style="background-color:inherit;font-family:inherit;"> ‘고민을 하는 당사자’</b></span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">를 피해 잠수를 탄 겁니다. 즉 문제는 ‘남자/여자 친구가 잠수타서 고민하는 사람’입니다. </span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">다른 곳에서 문제를 찾을 수도 있으나 사실 이는</span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#ff0010;"><b style="background-color:inherit;font-family:inherit;"> ‘정신승리’</b></span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">에 가깝습니다. 내가 문제가 아니었으면 하는 마음인 겁니다. 이해합니다. 저도 가끔 환상에 취해 삽니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">다만 문제가 ‘나’라는 걸 직시하면 해결책은 이외로 빠르게 나옵니다. ‘내가 뭘 했는지’ 돌아보면 되기 때문입니다. 내가 한 행동이 그/그녀를 잠수타게 했으니까요.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">-</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">문제 원인이 ‘나’라는 걸 알았다면 이제는 선택할 시간입니다. </span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">선택지는 늘 2가지 입니다. ‘한다’와 ‘안 한다’ 입니다. 좀 더 구체적으로는 </span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"><b style="background-color:inherit;font-family:inherit;">‘내가 하고 싶은데로 한다’와 ‘하고 싶지만 참고 상대방이 원하는 걸 한다’</b></span><span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">입니다. </span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">상대방이 잠수를 탔으니, 현 시점에서 상대방은 잠수를 타고 싶을 겁니다. 따라서 상대방이 원하는 걸 하게 하는 건 잠수를 타게 두는 겁니다. ‘잠수 탄 이유를 파헤치거나’ ‘어디 있는지 찾아내는 건’ 내가 하고 싶은 행동입니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">물론 잠수 타게 두는 건 무척 어렵습니다. 그/그녀가 잠수를 타서 나도 상처받았기 때문입니다. 상처받은 사람은 삐뚤어집니다. 물리적 상처가 아니라 마음의 상처, 즉 사랑입니다. </span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">다만 생각하셔야 합니다. 잠수 탄 사람도 상처를 받았기에 잠수를 탄다는 사실 말입니다. 상처를 주지 않았는데 갑자기 잠수를 타는 사람은 없습니다. 그런 사람이라면 누군가의 애인이 되지 못했을 겁니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">-</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">이는 애착 유형이 형성되는 과정과 같습니다. 사랑을 받으면 안정형이 되고, 간헐적으로 받으면 저항형이 되고, 제대로 못 받으면 회피형이 됩니다. </span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">보통 회피형이 잠수를 많이 타서 걸러야 한다고 얘기하시는 분이 계십니다. 다만 회피형이 회피하는 이유는 저항형이 쫓아가기 때문입니다. 누가 쫓아오면 기본적으로 도망가기 마련입니다. 저항형은 도망가니까 쫓아갑니다. 결과는 파국입니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">하지만 평생 잠수를 탈 수는 없습니다. 내가 쫓아가기를 멈춘다면 그/그녀도 그만 도망갈겁니다. 제정신이 될 때까지 두십시오. 또 돌아올 곳이 있다는 여지도 열어두셔야 합니다. 그게 싫다면 헤어지는 게 좋습니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">다만 저는 헤어지진 않으셨으면 합니다. 고민하는 당신도 그/그녀의 좋은 면을 알기에 관계를 이어가지 않았습니까. 그 시선은 틀린게 아닙니다. 그러니 그런 그/그녀를 믿고 기다려 주시는 겁니다. 그렇게 하면 원하는 결과가 나올 겁니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">서로 사랑해 주십시오. 올바른 방법으로 말입니다.</span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;"></span> </p> <p class="se-text-paragraph se-text-paragraph-align-justify" style="padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:0px;line-height:1.5;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-align:justify;"> <span class="se-fs-fs19 se-ff-nanummyeongjo" style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font-style:inherit;font-size:19px;line-height:inherit;font-family:'se-nanummyeongjo', arial, nanummyeongjo, serif, simsun;vertical-align:baseline;color:#000000;">읽어주셔서 감사합니다.</span> </p> </div> </div> </div> </div>
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